TREASURY OF SERMONS
Looking for a Life Partner
By Rev (Dr) Jeffrey Khoo
Text: Gen 24:1-27
Looking for a life companion is something that
comes naturally to us when we come of age. You want to settle down,
have a family one day after you have completed your studies and have
a job.
I am going to try to answer 3 questions
concerning looking for a life partner: (1) Why look for a life
partner? (2) Where to look for a life partner? (3) How to look for a
life partner?
Why Look for a Life Partner?
Because it is God’s will. In the case of
Abraham, it was God’s will that Isaac get married. God told Abraham
that his seed (children) will inherit the land He had given him.
Isaac thus needed to get married so as to produce a godly seed. Read
Gen 24:7. This applies to us. Establishing a Christian family is in
God’s will. One of my greatest desires is that my children will grow
up to serve the Lord full-time. For the rest of us, our children may
not necessarily go into full-time service, but they can be good
Christians by witnessing for the Lord wherever they are, bringing
people into the kingdom by their good testimony.
For the sake of companionship. No man is an
island. We need people around us. We need company. That is why we
have family and friends. If you say you do not need anybody, there
is something wrong with you. God has specially designed us with the
ability to relate to others. He wants us to have a relationship with
Him. And we are made to have relationships with people as well. In
Gen 2:18, God said that "it is not good that man should be alone; I
will make him an help meet for him."
Boy meets girl, boy likes girl, girl likes boy,
both get married is something beautiful. God made it this way. But
the world has turned it upside down and made it ugly. Boy meets boy,
girl meets girl, and they do things that are unnatural. Note: God
made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.
Where to Look for a Life
Partner?
In the case of Abraham, he told his servant to
get a wife for Isaac from out of his own people. Read Gen 24:4. The
servant was specifically warned not to take a wife for Isaac from
out of the Canaanites who were idolators. The principle taught here
is clear: God’s people must marry only those who have the same
faith. Marry only within the Christian community. Marry only a
believer. Why? Deut 7:4 gives the reason: "For they will turn away
thy son from following me, that they may serve other gods: so will
the anger of the LORD be kindled against you, and destroy thee
suddenly." Marriage evangelism is unbiblical. Paul tells us, marry
"only in the Lord" (ie, marry only a believer).
Where to look for a believer? Of course the
first place is in your own church. Where did I find my wife? I found
her in Bible College. That is the best because both of us are in the
full-time ministry. We have the same calling and desire to serve God
for the rest of our lives. We were compatible.
How about other churches? Yes, OK, but make sure
they are B-P churches or at least Bible-believing and
Bible-defending churches. There are many false churches today, and
those inside may be false believers. So be careful. Many today say
they are Christian, but check them out to see whether they are in
the faith. I know of a young man who married a girl who said she was
a Christian. He did not make sure what she meant when she said that.
Actually she also says that she was a Hindu. In one year, they were
separated. The girl made used of him to finish school, and then left
him. Make sure you marry a Christian.
How to Look for a Life
Partner?
Very carefully. To decide whom you want as a
life partner is an important decision. Do not decide on your own.
Firstly go to the Lord in prayer. Read Gen 24:12. Don’t forget to
pray. The Lord is the divine Matchmaker. He is very interested in
your marriage. He will lead you to the right person. Secondly, seek
the advice of your parents. If you fancy a guy or a girl, ask your
parents for their opinion about him or her. A lot of couples could
have avoided disastrous marriages if only they had paid attention to
their parents. They often see things we do not. Did I go to my
parents for advice? Yes. I went to my mom. "What do you think of
her?" I would ask. She usually wouldn’t say no, but she would say,
"You better think carefully." "Think carefully." Yes, love involves
not only the heart but the mind. If it is only the heart—it is
infatuation. But if it involves the mind and the will, it is
solid—it is love. Today, the movies have painted a warped picture
about what is love. Love is physical attraction, feeling soft and
mushy when the guy or girl of your dreams walks by. No, love is not
mushmellows, but muscles.
Prov 18:22 says, "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a
good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord." It is a most blessed
thing if you can find a wife who is a fervent Christian, who is able
to bring out the best in you in serving God and glorifying His name,
who will be a sacrificial mother to her children, and willingly
submits to the authority of the man who is head of the house. Yes,
the word I used is "submit" (or "obey"). Read Tit 2:4-5. Please note
that wives are to be "keepers of the home." A very important and
noble work. If you are not prepared to be a full-time home-maker and
mother to your little children, I strongly advise you not to get
married. Remain single, and pursue your career, climb the social
ladder, fulfill your secular ambitions. Being a wife and mother is a
full-time vocation (not occupation)—it is a calling.
Prov 18:22 applies to the sisters as well,
"Whoso findeth a husband findeth a good thing . . ." It is a most
blessed thing if you can find a husband who is a strong believer,
who will love you fully and unconditionally as Christ loved the
church and gave His life for her, who will provide for your needs
and give you security, and dutifully takes responsibility to be the
spiritual leader of the home. But if you find a husband who works
late into the night and doesn’t spend time with the family, who goes
to late night parties with friends, who flirts with other women, who
returns home drunk, who gambles his money away and does not provide
for the family, who beats you and the children up when he is
unhappy, that is hell on earth, isn’t it?
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